You will hear it again and again how incredible peoples’ kids are. They are much more advanced than they should be for their age. It’s unbelievable that they can already do this one thing that nobody else in the world could do at that age! And if, like mine, your facebook friends are an ever increasing pool of people who are contributing to the world’s population, you have a front row seat to it all.
There are infinite “cute” pics that fill my screen – lots of the kiddos sitting there chewing on something – a few of them holding something they shouldn’t be – lots of them dressed in clothes that they couldn’t care less about. Although a picture’s worth a thousand words, maybe sometimes we need to know why you think so. So, here is why I think that my son actually IS amazing:
1. Mind Control
Little Guy is lucky enough to have been born with the power of mind control. I didn’t realize it at first. I thought that maybe we were all just getting to know him better and anticipating his wants and needs. Not the case. At 13 months old, he can already direct me to do things he wants me to do without me even thinking about it. Just the other night – in a comatose state – I rose from my bed, changed his diaper, and returned to my resting position without even realizing what had happened.
2. Eccentric Food Critic
Although he has not developed a British accent yet, Little Guy has already perfected the “don’t bite your tongue” approach to judging food – in both presentation and in taste. Some reality TV cooking shows have taught us that sometimes, the brutal truth is what the aspiring chef needs to motivate them properly. In “spot on” impressions of Gordon Ramsay, plates are tossed across the dining area, food is spit out, and frustrated but determined cooks head back into the kitchen in an effort to continuously please.
3. Male model
I cannot complete a shopping trip without a slew of googly-eyed ladies swarming my son. I’m not kidding. Babies are cute, for sure, but I believe that Little Guy has been sneaking out at night to watch Jake Gyllenhaal movies while listening to Michael Buble – all the while studying their every move to assist with his own crooning efforts. We are in trouble. . . .
4. Passion for Life
How do you wake up in the morning? Do you get up, get excited, and stand up in your bed jumping up and down in anticipation of the day? Do you laugh and smile when someone opens the bedroom door to take you from your cozy bed? Can you hardly wait to see what the day will bring? He does. Maybe we should too.
5. Thirst for Knowledge
I’ve never seen anyone become enthralled with a credit card. Some of them are pretty cool, don’t get me wrong. I customized mine with some of my photography, but they are still just mundane pieces of plastic – to me. After swiping my payment method the other day, a little, grasping, flexing hand reached over in a silent ask to inspect the item I was holding. It was either a credit card or a rare, newly discovered artifact that had only just now been experienced for the first time by humans. Amazing, indeed.
6. Slight of Hand Magician
Like David Blaine, Little Guy leaves people standing there in awe asking, ‘What just happened?’, or ‘Where did that go?!” With the quickest movement, something that was just in his hand one second ago is gone. Divert your eyes for an instant, and he’s across the room. Amazing, scary, and absolutely keeps you on your toes. A true entertainer. Does anyone have a dollar bill or a cell phone I could borrow? Don’t worry. . . . you’ll get it back. . . .
7. Cold Hard Self Control
There is a quality that James Bond, 007 has that shines when he is held captive. Despite the evil villain’s best efforts to get him to break, the secret spy can endure hours of uncomfortable situations all while keeping his cool and still managing to deal out witty remarks. Likewise, my son can push the same button over and over and over again listening to the same sound or quirky song again and again and again. Sometimes he’ll look me in the eyes and without flinching, just when I think it is over, he pushes it again.
8. Stamina, Tenacity, and Perseverance
Sometimes, despite my best efforts, there is nothing I can do to stop the drive and effort that this kid puts forth. He wants to go over there and he wants to go over there right now. Nothing will distract him. Nothing will divert his attention. There is one goal and one goal only. He will also enroll me in helping him get there. Nothing will stop him and you had better not try.
9. Conditioned, Determined Triathlete
Not exactly “swim, bike, run”, but more like “climb, climb, climb”. Little Guy will crawl right over you if you’re in the way. Up the stairs, thru the chairs, over the cushions. . . there’s always a leg being thrown up in an attempt to rise above. Most of the obstacles are taller than he is – doesn’t matter. I don’t know how many things per day I attempt to get over that are as high as my shoulders. He attempts them all.
10. Instant forgiveness
Sit him in the playpen for 2 seconds or take away the deadly weapon that he’s chewing on and you will definitely get an earful from Little Guy. How COULD you!? But bygones are bygones, and as long as you are up for it, he’ll gladly hang out and play some more once the worst part of the day is over. At the end of the day, all is right again.